I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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