I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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