Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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