This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize