nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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