I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
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you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
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Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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