I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
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In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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