my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
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