i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
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I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
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Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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