We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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