i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize