drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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