So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize