I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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