Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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