Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
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Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
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I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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