I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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