I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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