please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize