I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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