Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
why do cheetos always look like penises
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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