i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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