I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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