like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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