I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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