But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
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No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
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I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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