I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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