This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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