Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize