Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize