i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I want to be your penis for a week.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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