last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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