we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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