Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i drank out of a bidet.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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