I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
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I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize