It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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