Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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