it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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