road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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