found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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