What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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