remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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