she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
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at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
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He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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