the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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