Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
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Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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