Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
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Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
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You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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