quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize