yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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