It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we're making bets on your personal life
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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