Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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