i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
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